The Goon Line 016: The Birth of Hollywood's Brat Pack

(Morgan and Mason were unavailable for comment)

BIG NIGHT FOR US HOLLYWOODHEADS YESTERDAY. I didn’t see Oppenheimer and never will because I don’t give a single cold-or-otherwise-temperatured fuck about a story featuring that many indiscernible, interchangeable white dudes, and will make only the rarest of exceptions for a movie that clocks in over two hours.*

Speaking of a ton of white dudes, though, LET’S CHECK OUT AN ARTICLE ABOUT THEM, which originally appeared in New York Magazine in 1985. This is a fun throwback read, plus I’d already written like half of this post and didn’t want to find something new to deal with after sitting through a three-hour telecast. It also refers to Nicolas Cage “The Ethnic Chair” of the Brat Pack, which is just… something. (Kenergy?) (Cage was really doing his very most when he presented last night. I did not hate it; he has evolved into his final form. Here is some excellent bonus Cage content as a treat for him and for you.)

I love reading about these superfamous figures, four decades on, as they were when they were shiny, new, unknown, untested, malleable – before they evolved into their final and most calcified Cages, Nelsons, Estevezes, et cetera. I also didn’t know that Tom Cruise, perfect human NO NOTES AND I WILL NOT BE DISCUSSING THIS, was considered to be a part of the Brat Pack. (He has transcended all categorization for me at this point, probably because has cut ties with the SPs in his life.) I look forward to joining him, and perhaps the rest of these clowns, at the Celebrity Centre for a four-hour long Dead Reckoning Part 2 premiere. Coronas optional.

^{*Exceptions include: Any of the Mission Impossible films, most movie musicals, Crazy Rich Asians.}