The Goon Line 026: Dr. Mario online

We have been hosting two of our teenage nephews over the past few days, and it has been a lot of fun; they’ve been great sports throughout all of our endeavors and adventures and sensible reminders to take our calcium supplements. I, on the other hand, am stuck between “wanting to feel cool” and “knowing I am old.” I legitimately couldn’t be more embarrassing to any of us if I were given a graded and/or paid assignment to do so.

One of the reasons I know I am not cool or young is because I keep trying to silently prove that I am both. Nothing works, obviously, because if you have to try to demonstrate that shit you can just immediately recognize that you will never again be any of it, ever. Also, I found my haircut in the pages of a 1987 issue of Ladies’ Home Journal and not from TikTok. I’M LITERALLY DRUNK UNCLE AUNT.

Anyway, last night I asked them, in a serious way, if they have ever played Dr. Mario. You know, the video game that came out in 1990, a full legal adult’s age before the older nephew was even born. Well, they haven’t, BUT YOU CAN, from your very own Netscape browser window.

I still really, really love this game. Jeff bought a tiny Nintendo in March of 2020, and we burned a whole lot of hours playing old-timey games from when we were our houseguests’ generation in the early months of a dark couple of years. I became re-obsessed with Dr. Mario, particularly, and we ended up having some pretty heated at-home matches. I cannot wait to unpack this console and fire it up once more.

Also I just realized this is the second time I’ve surfaced Mario content on this in like five weeks. My old brain is shorting out, but I remain uncool enough to see another day. ENJOY YOUR VIRUSES, AS LONG AS THEY REMAIN INSIDE OF THE GAME!