The Goon Line 053: Worms

WHAT A WEEK FOR WORMS, AM I RIGHT?

The biggest news story for my addled mind this week was that presidential candidate, antivax conspiracist and Cheryl Hines husband RFK Jr. told us that a parasite ate part of his brain. You don’t say.

He also may have had mercury poisoning, which famously knocked noted sushi enthusiast and Evanston native Jeremy Piven all the way out of a Broadway play, something I think about at least once a month.

Some other worm-related content that happened this week was, as I told you the other day, the season-and-I-hope-series finale of Vanderpump Rules. Last year, in the fresh wake of Scandoval, agent of chaos and devastating verbal barb slinger James Kennedy called Tom Sandoval, probable Erik von Markovik style acolyte, “a worm with a mustache.”

@itsjameskennedy

“your a worm with a mustache” 😂🤷‍♂️ #vanderpump #reunion #vanderpumprules

The finale was a tough watch, and I wish I knew how to quit these losers. I hope Bravo will make the decision for me, even though I’m sorry to tell you I’m absolutely watching The Valley and will apparently continue to do so.

Finally, have this worm internet that’s been in my life since — checks Gmail archive — 2006. Only read it after you’ve eaten, or if you never want to eat again. Happy weekend, worms!